Always Skeptical Steve

The deep lines of skepticism scar the face of a man who trusts no one.

Introduction:

You may know a Steve.

Steve works with a furrowed brow.

Steve doesn’t believe what you say.

Steve trust no one.

Meet Always Skeptical Steve.

Meet ASS.

Observations:

1. Steve needs to know why. ASS doesn’t accept your beliefs or statements at face value. ASS always asks, “Huh…why is that?”. Just like a curious toddler who bugs the shit of out of you. The only difference is that ASS is old enough to know better. Shame on you Steve.

2. Steve doesn’t believe in authority. ASS acts the same to whoever is talking. ASS asks questions to VP’s, SVPs, CEO’s with the same annoying candor. And yet some reason, doesn’t get fired. Go get ‘em Steve, keeping pushing their buttons… let’s see what happens.

3. Steve is blind to progress. ASS doesn’t see the progress that’s being made until there’s a change in the metrics. There’s always an under current of frustration that highlights just how ineffective and stupid others are. I agree, but keep that sentiment on the low-down Steve.

4. Steve is never truly happy. Behind that furrowed brow is a truly unhappy soul. Minor victories slow the inevitable frustration. You have to feel sorry for his dog, which you assume he hates. You feel sorry for his wife, who you’re sure is unfulfilled. You feel sorry you think those things, but that’s just the vibe of an ASS.

5. Steve is usually right. The fact that ol’ ASS is right, is just the painful icing on top of a terrible tasting cake. Yes ASS, our All-Hands are the most terrible meeting on the planet. Yes ASS, the business overrides the experience. Yes ASS, it is a problem that no one knows what’s going on. Listen up Steve, even if you’re right, no one wants you to remind them of the pain they just swept under the rug.