Next Step Nadine

Nadine loves to shine in the last minute of meeting, assigning action items to you!

Introduction:

You may know Nadine.

Nadine is only concerned about what’s next.

Nadine says nothing all meeting long.

Nadine shines in the last 45 seconds of your 60 minute meeting.

Nadine asks, what’s the next step?

Meet Next Step Nadine.

Now you know NSN.

Observations:

Observation 1: NSN is fixated on what’s next. Nadine’s job is valuable and easy. Simply squawk, “What’s next?!?”, when a meeting is coming to a close. That’s it. Thanks Nadine.

Observation 2: NSN does not know what comes next, only that there should be a next. Nadine doesn’t have much knowledge about tech, science or life for the matter. Nadine asks because she genuinely doesn’t know what’s next. And judging from the collective silence from product, tech, design and legal…no one else knows either. We’ll just sit in painfully awkward silence until someone answers.

Observation 3: NSN’s second superpower is assigning action items. Nadine is fantastic at assigning action items. Look at her go! “Bill you’ll come back with the technical brief by Tuesday. Jeff you’ll confirm with legal there’s no issues.” Its poetry in motion. But I see you Nadine. It’s smart to be the action item assigner, because you never have to assign them to yourself. Sneaky bitch.

Observation 4: NSN relentlessly follows up on Slack. Is there a robot she’s trained to kick out reminders, requests for status or weekly email updates? Did she train that robot to be passive-aggressive and make me feel bad for getting annoyed at someone for just doing their job? Nah, Nadine just loves sending Slack messages that I will avoid.

Observation 5: NSN has annoying certifications. PMP, Scrum-Master or whatever other hot project management certification of the day is trending. Is there a common sense certification? Because I’m a CSM, Common Sense Master, and I think it’s annoying to message someone 7 times in a 15 minute span, no? Back of Nadine, I’m too busy barely workin’.