Workplace Persona # 5 - Unnecessary Acronym Guy
You know Guy.
Guy likes short words.
Guy is short in stature.
Guy has no patience for long phrases that could be shortened.
Guy loves acronyms.
Guy creates acronyms for TTAN… things that aren’t needed.
You know Unnecessary Acronym Guy.
You know UAG.
Let’s talk about UAG
Observation 1: UAG finds joy in explaining things to others. When someone inevitably asks, “ What does SME mean?” UAG quickly answers, “Subject Matter Expect”, with the slightest level of smug belief that he is one. You aren’t a SME UAG, you are AAF. Annoying as f*ck.
Observation 2: UAG acts if all the acronyms are common knowledge. TBH? FTE? BIS? UAG quickly rattles off “To be Hired”, “Full Time Equivalent” and “Butts in Seats. Oh. Makes sense. For accuracy if we’re counting heads, can we add, “HIC”, AIS” and “PITR”. What’s a matter UAG?!? You don’t know “head in clouds” Assets in Sight” and “Pricks in this room?””
Observation 3: UAG will randomly make up acronyms JTFWY. Just to f*ck with you. WAJ. What a jerk. 2CPTG. Two can play this game. Watch out MF.
Observation 4: UAG is also good friends with Maniacal Metrics Manny. Where sticklers for definitions collide, you’ll find UAG and MMM. There’s an instant kinship in being misunderstood and under appreciated. They are trauma bonded for life.
